FYI

dear friends, i just wanted you to know that there is more for me to share on my blogsite here in the near future. due to an unexpected change that has occured, i'm not afforded too much free time in order to post my personal experiences to help and encourage you on a regular basis. my heart is to be as open and honest with my readers to allow you to see the many things that occur not only in my life, but in your's as well. i've been dealt a harsh blow nearly two week ago, however i hold on to my faith in HIM Who has allow these thing to occur. we are all on this journey together and i hope and trust that in some small measure, i am able to encourage and inspire you as YOU travel on this journey called life.

as i enter in a new season in my life, and when all this dust has settled, i will be more than happy to share with you, what has transpired within these last few weeks. until next time friends . . . . .

strength and honor,

[dM]

thursday's quote

"all God's giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on HIs being with them" ---hudson taylor

tuesday's quote

"we sow a thought and reap an act, we sow an act and reap a habit, we sow a habit and reap a character, we sow a character and reap a destiny" ---william makepeace thackeray

monday's quote

"the utterly best thing for a man is to be good, even if he were never rewarded for it" ---charles kingsley

oh no!, not me (part 5)

looking back on that whole episode that i experience with this ministry and it's leadership, was the fact that i was offend because i was lied to, deceived, and betrayed by so called men of God. the truth of the matter is that my expectations of them, as ministers and leaders was shattered. the new testament speaks of the phileo love that we share and/or give as Christians. it's an affectionate love that is conditional. phileo says, "you scratch my back, and i'll scratch yours," or "you treat me kindly, and i'll do the same." i've learned the hard way, that i've got to love others in spite of what i they can do for me in return.

for example, several years ago, my best friend was without a car, although at one time he had two, one was an older car which needed engine repairs and in light of how old the car was, it was better to just leave as is and not bother trying to repair it. it would have been more costly to repair than what the car was worth. the other ended up in an accident and, well, pretty much the same situation there. i offered my car to my buddy on several occasions and at one point, he had it for about a month or so, if not longer. when i finally got my car back from him, there were times that i knew it would once again come in handy for him. aside from that, when he was also in need of finances i would offer to help him with that as well. what i'm about to share is an example as to how twisted and damaged i was. to some it may sound a bit trivial, but if my sharing this helps someone, somehow, it's severed it's intended purpose.

if my best friend, choose not to accept either my car to help him get to work and for personal errands or he choose not to accept money to help him, i was hurt by that. i was offended, i felt rejected. the way the devil had me was basically like this: if my friend didn't need my car, he didn't need david. if he didn't need my financial help, he didn't need me. this goes back to the one of the major categories that i stated in my previous entry. i was part of the "those who believe they have been treated unjustly. i didn't see that way, i didn't see it as what it simply was. if he didn't need my car, he simply didn't need it. but since i never dealt with my wounded spirit, i saw it as, if he doesn't need my help, he doesn't need me. i know it may sound a bit extreme, but please, understand, that was the trap i once found myself in. i've come to the conclusion, just as john bevere stated in his book, "if i have expectations about certain persons, those people can let me down. they will disappoint me to the degree that they fall short of my expectations. but if i have no expectations about someone, anything given is a blessing and not something owed"

unknowingly, we set ourselves up for offence when we require certain behaviors from those with whom we have relationships. the more we expect, the greater the potential offense. we construct walls when we are hurt to safeguard our hearts and prevent any future wounds. we become selective, denying entry to all we fear will hurt us. we filter out anyone we think owes us something and open our lives only to those we believe are on our side. if we don't risk being hurt, we cannot give unconditional love. unconditional love give others the right to hurt us.

in closing, i simply ask you this, what is it that you expect from others? and what do you think others expect from you?

excerpts from the bait of statan by john bevere charisma house 2004

friday's quote

"it is more important to help a stumbling brother that to prove yourself correct" ---john bevere

oh no!, not me (part 4)

as i've shared my experience of having dealt with that hurt, offence, bitterness and betrayal of those whom i'd worked with and for. i know i've been open and honest with that particular experience, however, allow me to share some vital things that i've learned through this and other situations in which i've put himself in to show how i WAS and quite possibly you may either see yourself in, whether past or present, but hopefully NOT in the future.

in john bevere's book the bait of satan, i learned ALOT about myself. the reason offence is rampant among believers and church leaders is a lack of genuine love. so many are snared in this deceptive trap (of offence) that we have almost come to believe it is a normal way of life. those whom we sit with and sing alongside, or perhaps it is the one who is delivering the sermon. we spend holidays, attend social functions, and share offices with them. or perhaps it's closer. we grow up with, confide in, and sleep next to them. however, the truth of the matter is, the closer the relationship, the more severe the offence! you find the greatest hatred among people who were once close. ironically, when offence does occur, we believe we are the only ones who have been wronged and what a deception that is. when a person is deceived, he believes he is right even though he is not. no matter what the scenario, we can divide all offended people into two major categories: (1) those who have been treated unjustly or (2) those who believe they have been treated unjustly.

people in the second category believe with all their heart that they have been wronged. often their conclusions are drawn from inaccurate information. or their information is accurate, but their conclusion is distorted. either way, they hurt and their understanding is darkened. they judge by assumption, appearance, and here say. often, pride tends to be the centerpiece of offence. pride keeps you from dealing with truth. pride hardens your heart and dims the eyes of your understanding. because you believe you are innocent and falsely accused, you hold back forgiveness. though your true heart condition is hidden from you, it is not hidden from God. just because you were mistreated, you do not have permission to hold on to an offense. two wrongs don't make a right! too many times when we are offended we see ourselves as victims and blame those who hurt us. we justify our bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, envy, and resentment as they surface. when we blame others and defend our own position, we truly are blind.

i challenge you to conduct a small self evaluation of your heart. think about it and see the links between where you've been before or quite possibly where your at right now as it relates to this deadly trap. my position in this is not to judge, because in all honesty, who am i? but i do want for you to think about how this could play out in your own life. more to come on monday's entry.

thursday's quote

"happiness is not the end of life; character is" --- henry ward beecher

wednesday's quote

"success is measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed" ---booker t. washington

tuesday's quote

"there are too many people praying for mountains of difficulty to be removed, when what they really need is courage to climb them" ---unknown

monday's quote

"but i say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you" ---matthew 5:44

oh no!, not me (part 3)

after a few days of having been released from my job and having felt betrayed by my own boss, i called the office to set a time to meet with him since he was back in town and at the office. mind you, this was a ministry that i had worked for and my supervisor was an ordained minister. after several failed attempts to speak with him by phone, i showed up at the office unannounced. after waiting several minutes i choose to walk into his office. this man, this "minister" sat at his desk and told me that he had no clue what was going on and that knew nothing of my pending dismissal and that it was all a surprise to him. granted we engaged in a heated discussion, i told him that he would not do this to me and get away with it and that i was going to find out myself what was going on.

i called the president of the ministry to inform him of the method that one of his ministers was conducting business within his office and how he openly and blatantly lied to my face about not having any idea that about my position being eliminated. sad to say, but even with "ministers" i got the run around and this was from people who i worked for. about a week later, the president of the ministry called me and in my hurt, anger, and bitterness i gave him an ear full of my thoughts. i told him that i had no respect for a person who claims to be a "man of God" yet has the nerve to lie to my face and how my former boss chose to fly someone in from out of state to release me and then say he knew nothing about it, i told the president that my former boss was a spineless coward and a liar.

ironically, i didn't get sympathy from this person either and what was even more hurtful, is that NO ONE from this organization ever apologize for how this whole situation was handled. an apology would not have changed anything, but it would certainly eased the "sting of betrayal" that i had experienced. weeks after all this happen, an "insider" who knew of the situation and of what had transpired, shared with me that at an executive officers' meeting months before, it was decided to eliminated my position (at a set date) and at my release they agreed on giving me four months salary (severance) pay. all this was documented in the minutes of the executive officers' meeting. yet my former supervisor didn't release me as they had agreed nor did i receive my severance pay.

this event that occured with this ministry, truly broke me in so many ways. never in my life had i felt so betrayed by Christians and especially by "ministers", it's bad enough if that happens within lay people in the church, but by leaders of an "denominational organization"?? during that time, i lost respect for ministers, because i was so wounded by their lies and deception, i felt, "they all the same". i felt i was the "victim". i was the one that was "wronged". i was the one that was lied to. i was the one that was "screwed". and yet the story continues.