friday's quote

"no man, for any considerable period of time, can wear one face to himself and another to the mulititude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the truth" ---nathaniel hawthorne

oh no!, not me (part 2)

about 10 years ago i became part of the management team for an international ministry based in the DFW area. several months had past and all was going well (or so i thought). the person i worked direct for happened to be out of town as part of his usual ministry business. i knew that one of the ministry's executive officers was arriving in town during my supervisor's trip. this executive officer would come to visit us and meet with area ministers whenever he was in town, so naturally, i thought this would be another one of those visits.

oddly enough, during his second day's visit to the office, he called me into a vacant office that he would use during his trip to the area and he gave me the news that he was actually in town to "let me go". that's right, his trip from another part of the country was to "dismiss" me, hence giving me the reason that my position was going to be eliminated. of course i had no knowledge of staff changes that were happening. during the course of his discussion with me, he asked if i was aware of the changes that were going to be made. i told him that i didn't, then his facial expression changed, because my supervisor was to give me notice of the pending staff reorganization. not only did my superior fail to inform me, but i later came to find out that he asked the executive officer to come and release me during the time he was going to be out of town.

so that day, i gathered my things and left only having to return the next morning to finalize some pending financial matters. when i arrived the next morning, i noticed that they had changed the security code on the alarm system (i'm thinking what for? you've got my key). after i sat with the executive officer and walked him through all the pending checks and invoices and so on, i left. i left wounded, feeling how could my supervisor do this to me. to go out of town, go through the expense of flying someone in (on ministry money mind you) in order to release me. the man didn't even notify me as instructed by his superiors. i think that would have left and ANYONE a little furious. that event was the beginning of one of the worst ministry experiences that i had to deal with. anger, bitterness, hurt, disbelief and offence begin to settle in. and if you think that's was the worst of it, in all honesty, it truly doesn't get better for sure.

thursday's quote

"God gave us eyes so that we might see; He gave us ears that we might hear; He gave us wills that we might choose, and He gave us heart that we might live" ---john eldredge from his book wild at heart

wednesday's quote

"the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives" ---albert schweitzer

oh no!, not me (part 1)

we've all experienced it. we've all done it. yet some CHOOSE to live with it, a weight that is at times is unbearable. what could it be? it's something that if we are not careful it has the potential to affect more that just you, but those closet to you. it's offence, i'm almost certain that word has triggered a past discussion, deed or person in your mind, perhaps something that you're having to deal with even as you read this. there are several factors involved with offence such as, was it intentional or unintentional, perception (how something was said, as opposed to how it was meant) when we fail to hold true to our word, the whole "but you said" scenario. could it be our deeds, in what you do or say out of anger, hurt or disappointment.

some of what i'll share in these next few entries will be from john bevere's book, the bait of satan. when addressing such a personal topic one must understand that one can overcome offence, i'm a living witness to that. i learned my lesson on this the hard way. yes, this book was a tool that was brought to my attention by a former college roommate and friend. i recall i was sitting traffic on my cell phone talking to this dear brother and explaining to him a situation/disagreement that i had with someone and i was "just speaking my mind and venting". the reality of it is that i wanted someone to see it my way and agree with me and take my side. oddly enough, some of you are right on track with me on that.

psalm 55: 12-14 states: If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God. the closer the relationship, the more severe the offence and you will find the greatest hatred among people who were once close. i don't know about anyone else, but i've experienced both sides of offence and it's not a nice ride. the next few entries will be on this topic that so many of us have had to go through, unfortunately, when it's with others from the "church" things tend to get a little "outta hand". so as i heard a pastor once say "you better put your seat belt on, 'cause i'm comin' down your street"

tuesday's quote

"God prepares great men for great tasks by great trials" ---j.k. gressett

monday's quote

"a friend is someone who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become, and still invites you to grow." ---stu weber